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Even my dog notices when I’m doing it. The phone comes out, and he shuts down. I just want a photo! Yup. Those are literally my thoughts. Well, add in there a “the world needs to see how cute you are” and a “I need something instagramable.”

It’s ridiculous, I know. But I also know I’m not alone. There’s this addictive behavior to sharing via social media and connecting with others that we fail to live in the moment and connect with those around us.

There’s a term for this, apparently: phubbing. “Phubbing your partner is the act of being on your cellphone instead of giving them your full attention when the two of you are together.” It’s not just a romantic problem though. We’re failing to connect with friends and meet the eyes of strangers. When we fail to acknowledge people right in front of us, we make them feel invisible.

Have you ever tried to sit in a room full of people on their phones? You feel left out. You instinctively reach for your phone. Without it, you’re lost.

Without it, you have no connection to people. Without connection, we lose a sense of dignity necessary to our humanity.

As this article sums up: “it appears that life has become a major distraction from our cell phones. It is ironic that cell phones, originally designed as a communication tool, may actually hinder rather than foster satisfying relationships.”

Uff. Far too often my husband has looked at me with those eyes, “Did you even hear what I just said?” He’s hurt that I wasn’t willing to give him my undivided attention.

He’s been phubbed.

Our relationships need to be sacred. They need to be cherished. But that means connecting with people in person and not just online. We need conversations and awkward moments. We need genuine concern and the ability to listen. We need to appreciate discussion and work through disagreements.

We need more intentional interactions and less photos to prove it.

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We are Haley and James Earley, a family of two established on October 11, 2014 in our hometown of Rochester, MN and now living in St. Paul, MN. We are dog-lovers, coffee addicts, tree-huggers, balance-seekers, community-livers, and new foster parents. We live in a house of three adults, three dogs, and our sweet foster kiddos. We desire to slow down in this fast-paced world in order to pursue intentional community as we seek after the heart of God. We're just one couple trying to figure out this whole living life thing.

One thought on “Phubbing”

  1. Kayla Lee says:

    Thank you for sharing this!! It is so easy to fall into this trap today!


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