Saying “no” in order to say “yes!”

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Yesterday, for the first time, we said “no” to a foster placement. It was weird.

Haley and I, ever since we started dating, have wanted to adopt. In fact, we decided–early on–that adoption was our preferred way of starting a family, rather than the traditional biological route. There are already a lot of kids out there–the world doesn’t need more tiny James and Haleys running around; it needs more people to step up and love the kids who are already here.

When we started the licensing process for foster care, about two years ago, we fell in love with the idea. When we started caring for our first set of kids, almost one year ago now, we fell in love with them. We have loved every kid we’ve gotten to care for–and their families too. We still love foster care, and we hope to continue fostering down the road.

But we’ve always sensed God calling us to adopt. For good.


So yesterday, we had to say “no.” Because there were other families who could care for this foster child, and we believe that within the next year, an expecting mother will choose us to partner with in raising her child–our child.

We’re in the middle of a home study process, expecting to have it completed within the month. Then we’ll start the match process, which typically takes 1-3 months with our consultant.

The season of Advent (which starts in like 4 days) is a season of expectant waiting. We’ve been expectantly waiting for years, and in this season we can all but see the end (a new beginning, itself). It’s a fitting season for us to experience this transition.


If you’re still reading this, you might be wondering “how can I be a part of what James and Haley are doing?” I’m glad you asked.

1. Pray for us, and for the expectant mother we’ll be matched with. Also, ask us how we’re doing, etc.
2. Consider helping us out financially. We’re not hurting financially, but adoption comes with expensive administrative fees. If you feel called to help out in this way, we can share with you some secure ways to give.
3. Ask us about why we feel called toward parenthood in this way–it’s deeply theological, rooted in identity, and one of our favorite things to talk about.

Thanks friends. May the peace of God’s adoptive spirit find its home in you as you walk through the season of Advent.

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We are Haley and James Earley, a family of two established on October 11, 2014 in our hometown of Rochester, MN and now living in St. Paul, MN. We are dog-lovers, coffee addicts, tree-huggers, balance-seekers, community-livers, and new foster parents. We live in a house of three adults, three dogs, and our sweet foster kiddos. We desire to slow down in this fast-paced world in order to pursue intentional community as we seek after the heart of God. We're just one couple trying to figure out this whole living life thing.

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